Strange Praise

“You have now tasted the bitter brew that is a captain's life”
--Captain Sir Edward Pellew, HMS Indefatigable

I guess about 6 years ago I went to the VA Hospital to visit my best friend in seminary, David Crow. He was a retired Navy Officer. His cancer had returned, and it looked like it was probably going to get him. I went back to the parking lot after visiting with him and cried. I kept thinking, “Lord, I can't drink the cup.”

There was one last hurrah, Annual Conference. We ate some meals together, esp at Mark's BBQ (Conference was in Louisville) and we talked about the deep things: salvation, heaven on earth (we are Methodists, after all!), and the hard demands of the Gospel. David died the next February.

Melissa's uncle Jerry called me a few days ago. A fellow he works with has a granddaughter at UK Hospital, leukemia. The family did not know much about it yesterday. I went back today and Amanda, the mother, told me that the little girl, Brianna, has ALL, the same leukemia Melissa has.

I knew they were going to be pretty freaked out by the treatment regimen, so I took some time to encourage them, to let them know someone else knows the language. (And Polly, you should be proud of me. I think I did an ok job of explaining the mechanism of the disease in layman's terms. I know you don't agree, but I should have some kind of honorary degree after all this...)

Early on, when Melissa was diagnosed, she said that she hoped no matter what happened that she could have some hand in helping people come to faith and/or be comforted in their own struggle. I guess the liminal place I am is recognizing that we are in a war. And the sooner people figure that out, the better. And when they have figured it out, then we stick together and tough it out.

If you're lucky, a fellowship develops in the worst situations. I don't know why it's this way, that from Melissa's illness has come this moment of being able to say to a scared and sad mother, “You will get through this!” Some of you know I don't have a lot of patience for arguing about the problem of evil. While I appreciate the minds that can delve into it, in the end you want something you can take into the concentration camp, and modal logic ain't it. The answer to the problem of evil and suffering is the Cross.

I remember the most powerful sermon I have ever heard. Olav Parnemets talking about John 19, the Calvary Congregation, staying close to the cross of Jesus. From a man who had to fight the KGB. I keep learning what he means about staying close to the Cross. You know, the Cross should be more obvious to us than it is. Things can end badly. At least, you should know it is war. If it doesn't kill us, it'll surely break our hearts. In the battle of Belleau Wood, USMC Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly yelled at his troops before they attacked, “What's the matter with you s.o.b.'s? Do you want to live forever?”

Take an ironic (irenic?) twist on those words: do you want to live forever?

Then lay down your life. Greater love hath no man but that he lay down his life for his friends.