Saturday was a such a good day. We hung out with the boys, went to see Charlotte's Web, had a good dinner together-- all seemed as right with the world as it can be in our situation. I stepped into Kroger to pick up something quick. When I came back out, I saw that Melissa was laying on the floor of the van, stuck between the seats. I thought maybe she had had a seizure, but she said she didn't think so, and she was not in the usual fog after one. I was mad, sad, worried all at once-- there were the boys in their car seats, unable to do anything. To add insult to injury, John said he didn't think it was a seizure; I had always hoped he would never have to deal with that. His great strength was his weakness: he is my helper in so many ways, and he could not do anything to help his mommy. Joe said, "I hollered for you, Daddy. Did you hear me?"
Luckily, in spite of being worried, John got back to his normal self. By bedtime he was talking about protecting Joe from bad guys. John has definitely made things easier for Joe. Every transition that the boys make is harder for them, given Melissa's illness. But John keeps a stiff upper lip for Joe, holding his hand or putting his arm around him. And so Joseph becomes something of a spokesman; he hollered for me while John worried what to do. Most times, Joe will step forward to speak on their behalf. I guess they're like Moses and Aaron.
I spent some time talking to the boys about how to help Melissa if she has a seizure. Ack, what a discussion. I wonder why I forget sometimes with the boys what I try to live with-- being up front and honest about situations? I thought the boys would be wigged out by talking about it, but they were glad to know what to do. Joe said, "And I'll pray."
We also spent some time on perspective. That is, Melissa's cancer is gone, hopefully to stay. So if she has seizures, that's a lot better. We'll pray and trust those will be gone, too.
In the midst of all this, we still find so much joy in the Lord. I visited the Itoula family a few days ago, discussing the problem of their children still in the refugee camp in Gabon. I read them Psalm 126, the Psalm we rejoice in so much. We prayed about getting ready to sing this Psalm when their children come: "When the Lord brough back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed! Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy."
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2 comments:
The storm hits hard....and even in the midst, I will join Joe in praying for yall.....if I could just wake up Jesus below deck and he could come up here and calm them down, heh.... love yall!
dudebro. this is my first day reading your blog. I am with you. Melissa has seizures? Wow. we are with you, over here. prayers ascend,despite lack of piety.
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