This long illness and recovery of Melissa’s is just that—long. You get it in your head that there will be this benchmark or milestone. And to be sure there are some. But then there are setbacks, or milestones you reach without knowing you reached them. Melissa did really well in terms of the treatment. But then came the fall and going back into the hospital, and then two months of infection and now spleen removal, and even tho she gets past all of those things, it feels like it slows her down, and when do you get to the place where all the little and the big things are cranking like they should?
Melissa is very tired lately, most likely because of the combination of seizure medicines that have had their dosages upped. The long haul from being hospitalized in August, infection that ran through November and splenectomy has taken it’s toll. Remember her in prayer.
And permit me some stream of consciousness Psalmifying. Psalm 39 looms large these past few days. “I said, ‘I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin…’ but when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased” (Ps 39:1-2).
This is one of those places in the Bible that reminds you that all the good intentions will get you nowhere unless they are united to faith in God. Faith for forgiveness of sins, faith for holiness. It’s all by faith in God’s ability to change our hearts. It has never relied on resolution.
Well, I was thinking about that, and what does it have to do with where we are? It got me to thinking about how much everything has to do with faith. The times I have cried or been burdened to the point of sorrow have come when faith flags. Not that it’s not natural to feel those things—it’s more that in me they tend towards pessimism, thinking, “well, the gig is up.” Fear of the unknown. Fear of having no faith.
Melissa is struggling with some really bad stomach cramps. Every night we’re praying and wondering, “when? why?” And there it is, Psalm 39, about sanctification, but really about faith. God says more than you think, it seems.
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first off, you can fix your settings to block out spam like the comment above. if you want to. I'd be glad to help. It's in your settings,a dn it's under comments... something ab out verification...
but what i really want to say is that I loved the words:
"It has never relied on resolution."
I spent a long time last night, delving deep into the mystery of Justification, and the ensuing, symptomatic righteousness that comes as fruit of the activity of the Spirit.
I was talking to a guy who had believed deeply that he had to merit...
we talked about the real Christian message: that there IS a righteousness that comes From faith. And that there is a justification--a being put back into right relationship... Luke 17 has that parable of the pharisee and the publican... isn't it 17?
there is that thief on the cross... if we had seen more of the story, and if the thief had survived, i'm sure that the reality of their justification would have (acts 26)born fruit in works (james), but it's all about God...
the true theology of grace... a true, Biblical understanding of grace, will drive us to greater and greater depths of humility and honesty...
thanks for the post, Aaron.
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